OMG THAT’S SO SCARY
I thought HE was going to be the one to hurt her
plot twist man
how elton john runs from the police
Must save rock and roll
I swear this is one of the best posts on tumblr
Fantasy lizard people where the females don’t have breasts they just figured out that bras are perfect for holding heat packs.
Fantasy lizard people where the males figured this out too and can’t understand why humans keep mistaking them for females because obviously they have five brow spikes not six like females do??
I have a dire need for this.
Ice-T on Law and Order
Get to SUBWAY and try our crispy NEW lineup of Flatizza™
Apparently Subway has discovered you can put marinara, pepperoni, and cheese on a piece of flatbread and put it in their toaster oven.
I don’t know why Frank insisted on bringing me to this dinner party, I don’t even know what to talk about and everyone’s already having a conversation, it’d be awkward to butt in. A steakhouse? Really? I’m a pescetarian, Frank. We’ve known each other ten years. Nobody’s even bothered to comment on my coat or offered a tummy rub. Your friends are shit, Frank.
my favorite post of 2013
me before posting something on tumblr: no that could offend someone